We thought that everyone knew the act of singing a pop song wasn't rocket science, but a group of British eggheads apparently didn't get that memo -- and have gone all apoplectic over the album Mariah Carey released recently. The members of Sense About Science have belatedly begun complaining about the title of 'E = MC2,' not so much because Albert Einstein hasn't gotten his fair share of royalties, but because the singer has been messing with the minds of impressionable children with her explanation of its meaning.

In contrast to good ol' Uncle Al, who spent eons coming up with the theory of relativity -- summarized as energy times the speed of light squared -- the diva claimed her equation to signify "emancipation equals Mariah Carey times two." We haven't witnessed this sort of ruckus since the world's mathematicians went on a rampage over the "one, two, three, fourteen" in U2's 'Vertigo.'

It's the Internet version of the old philosopher's riddle: If a song never gets downloaded, does it make a sound? According to a UK music researcher, a whopping 10 million of the 13 million or so available downloads sold not a single copy last year.

What's more, of the three million tracks that did sell to at least one listener, 80 percent were concentrated on just 52,000 "hits."

The finding has inspired a hearty round of jeering for the 'Long Tail' theory of modern marketing, which holds that the Internet has connected the sellers of niche and specialty products to buyers they might not otherwise have found. As it turns out, the music industry looks an awful lot like the rest of the planet -- a tiny number of haves, and a whole lotta have-nots.

The numbers are equally grim for album sales: Of 1.23 million available, only 173,000 were downloaded. Yes, kids, Janet Jackson's 'Feedback' was in fact downloaded for actual money once or twice.

Leonard Cohen will be singing 'Hallelujah' this holiday season -- well, not literally. But he is keeping his hands clean when it comes to choosing which of two versions of his song will snag the coveted No. 1 Christmas single slot on the British charts. Either way, both Cohen and his accountant will have a happy holiday.

Fans of Jeff Buckley have launched a campaign in the U.K. to boost download sales of the late vocalist's 1994 version of the Canadian singer-songwriter's unstoppable tune. This ploy is a frantic response to the overnight success of another cover, this one by newcomer Alexandra Burke, who just won the British singing contest 'X Factor' with her own version of the perpetually resurgent Cohen classic.

Reportedly, the Buckley push may result in a song occupying the top two spots on the British charts for the first time ever. Cohen, inducted this year into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, should be in his glory, whatever he thinks of the false 'Idol's who keep singing his praises: The Zen master has been chasing a former business manager who made off with his retirement savings a few years ago. The singer may yet retire, but his song will keep working like a dog.

Many famous performers have sacrificed their credibility or dignity to get ahead (see: 'American Idol') but Dante Knoxx took it one step further by trying to sell his soul on eBay. The 24-year-old British musician posted an ad for his "used" soul, with a starting bid of £25,000.50 (just over $38,000) or the "Buy It Now" price of £700,000 (over $1 million).

With two hours left, eBay pulled the listing, which had no bids, but 200 users following the action. "You cannot sell anything that is not physical," said Knoxx, of Bournemouth, U.K. "That includes ghosts, souls and spirits."

Knoxx would have used the money to kickstart the career of his "minimalist electronica" outfit, Paradigm. The winner would legally be entitled to a percentage of Knoxx's income for the rest of his life, with a minimum of £1000 a year, and ten percent of Paradigm's intellectual rights. Proving not all deals are final, a stipulation said Knoxx could buy back his soul for £100 million, should his band improbably make that much.

Although he was refunded for the posting, Knoxx was still disappointed. "I had lots of emails asking if I was serious, and religious groups telling me I couldn't do that. Others wanted to talk about my soul," he says. "I had a lot of interest, but no actual bidders, which is a real shame."

While the story certainly isn't Robert Johnson at the crossroads with the devil, it certainly is a great way to get publicity.

We figure Axl to be a tough taskmaster, but this is ridiculous: A 19-year-old Italian heavy metal singer has been accused of attempted murder after stabbing her 16-year-old guitarist for missing notes during a rehearsal.

Cristina Balzano of the band Soul Cry was taken into custody by Genovese officials after her attack on the band mate, whom she accused of "playing badly." Maybe they should just reclassify themselves as a punk band.

When you've worked with Madonna, Frank Sinatra, Paul McCartney, Mariah Carey and, uh, Air Supply, you're bound to have a few stories to tell. Fifteen-time Grammy winner David Foster tells plenty in his new memoir, 'Hitman,' the title of which says as much about the author's willingness to whack prima donnas as it does about his track record.

After producing a duet between Sinatra and Barbra Streisand, Foster encountered both singers at a party and asked whether they might like to perform the song for the gathering. "Why the f--- would I want to do that?" replied the Chairman.

OK, so maybe a mean Sinatra story isn't such a revelation. More surprising is Foster's claim that Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson were truly, if briefly, in love. "Maybe she brought out the testosterone in him," he speculates.

Sure ... and maybe Frank Sinatra was Mr. Rogers in a tux.

Brace yourself for the latest in mashup entertainment: karaoke meets Ultimate Fighting. Last year a Washington woman was hauled off to prison for assaulting a bar patron for his karaoke version of Coldplay's 'Yellow.'

Now comes news of a Wisconsin man who flew off the handle over another customer's karaoke rendition of Dio's 'Holy Diver.' Police say 24-year-old Kyle Drinkwine had a blood alcohol content more than twice the legal limit when he throttled 28-year-old James Mischler for his allegedly irreverent impersonation of onetime Black Sabbath lead singer Ronnie James Dio.

Before the attack Mischler hit back at Drinkwine's heckling, telling the Smoking Gun that he zinged his antagonist, who'd earlier performed an Eminem song, for wearing an oversized crucifix. "I told him he should find a better vending machine for his jewelry," said the budding comedian.

But if he shook off the subsequent assault, the singer remains stung by the insinuation that he was making fun of Dio with his off-key rendition. "I genuinely love Ronnie James Dio!" he insisted.

Rock 'n' roll is a hard life. Ginger Baker has the scars to prove it.

And he's prepared to expose a particularly private scar in court, if he has to. Baker, the 69-year-old former Cream and Blind Faith drummer, has accused a South African woman charged with 27 counts of fraud. He claims the woman, bank clerk Lindiwe Noko, embezzled about $60,000 of his money after he hired her to oversee his finances.

Noko contends that the drummer gave her the money in the form of gifts during an alleged relationship they had. But Baker denies it, and says he has the goods -- specifically, a scar in a bodily region he claims the woman never visited -- to prove it.

"It's there and she doesn't know it's there," said Baker. "I'm quite prepared to strip."

And may it please the court.

On a crowded rush hour train, folks are easily annoyed by even the slightest of offenses -- a sneeze, a yawn, an accidental butt graze. In England, however, it seems the most irritating behavior to commuters is iPods at high volume.

According to a survey of British travelers, cranking up the volume on a music player is more annoying than people who spread out large newspapers, as well as those who fall asleep and drool on others.

While we agree that being stuck next to someone blasting Avril Lavigne may not be the best of treats, we'd certainly prefer that to spittle. Well, most days, anyway.

100 million Rick Astley fans can't be wrong, can they?

Dismantling a field of ho-hum competitors for the honor of Best Act Ever at the MTV Europe Music Awards -- the Beatles, U2, blah, blah, blah -- the 42-year-old office-radio soul man behind the 1988 chart-topper 'Never Gonna Give You Up' sailed to victory by drawing more votes than the rest of the field combined. Seriously.

It's the culmination of a phenomenon known as Rickrolling, in which a few devoted (tongue-in-cheek?) fans direct unwitting viewers to Astley's YouTube videos by mislabeling them. Omitted from the original shortlist, Astley won with an avalanche of ballot-box stuffing as a write-in candidate.

As a famous wag once wrote, the average voter knows what he wants -- "and deserves to get it good and hard."